9pm: So! Next week, we're in Majorca, and Andrew Lloyd Webber makes his eliminations. Join us next Saturday, when we'll have a show every night from then on until the final!
8.58pm: Jason tells the boys that it'll ultimately be ALW's decision as to who stays and goes. Back in London, ALW confesses to a sleepless night, and summons the boys back from Superstar Island to the airport, where they are flying out to his mansion in Majorca. Carbon footprint means nothing to these guys, apparently.
8.55pm: Now the entire cohort gets to see all the videos and pass their own judgements. ALW is secretly watching back in his study as Mel C and Jason pile on the scorn when necessary.
8.50pm: Jason and Mel C are surprisingly brilliant as roaming judges. They offer no helpful advice to the contestants, but bitch to each other in lowered voices.
8.45pm: There's too much alpha-male-ing as the boys argue about what they want in each video. Jason disapproves, although after last night I'm half-expecting him to say, "JESUS was an alpha male."
8.40pm: So the remaining boys have a new challenge - filming a video to accompany a pop song. We see Alex Gaumond in passing, which is fun.
8.38pm: Mel, Jason and ALW start the whittling process as the plinky-plonky music of doom begins and the contestants do thoughtful pieces to camera about their career dreams. Then ALW sends out Mel and Jason to do his dirty work, and the rejects are sent home on a boat. No, really. Ansell, unsurprisingly perhaps, is one of those turned down - now, obviously, it looks like he gave up a job and he's left with nothing, which isn't the case. (Here's my review of his performance as Charles Darnay in A Tale Of Two Cities.)
8.35pm: Time to perform to the judges and Lord Lloyd Webber. The musical theatre acting in a very small room is strangely hilarious, as are the number of West End stars who'd be mobbed at stage door but don't even warrant a name caption here, such as Oliver Tompsett.
8.30pm: Donna watches the groups perform and gives them helpful constructive criticism like "You look psychotic". And then Holden tells us ALW's about to turn up and kick out the bottom ten. He probably won't be impressed by the quartet who have decided to add beat-boxing to their interpretation. Yvie Burnett, the vocal coach, is equally puzzled. This should be fun.
8.25pm: Before our next ad break, the boys are divided into quartets to perform their own take on What's The Buzz? I hope they get asked who was the weakest in the group, like they did on American Idol that time.
8.21pm: After a brief choreographic interlude, Ben from Sunderland sings Why, God, Why, as Donna shouts at him for "not compelling these people to answer you". Ansell follows him, and Donna does not like his acting choices, suggesting that the "orange trees...smell like a fart". He's quite insulted, saying he is a singer who acts, and says that Donna is just ripping everyone apart. Outside, Mel C says to him that he should probably think before he speaks - because he's on camera and this is all being recorded for posterity and he's not coming across well, is the unspoken subtext.
8.19pm: Then it's back to Donna's class where the boys get scolded for not being able to act. This time she's not impressed with Nathan's rock-singer stylings.
8.14pm: The boys are practising being Jesus by singing Good Vibrations in harmony, and doing a leaping-about dance routine.
8.09pm: Apparently the contestants drank too much on the first evening of boot camp. That SURELY does not constitute being "focused", per Jason Donovan's wise advice yesterday. We meet the first of our four coaches - acting coach Donna Soto-Morettini, who isn't impressed with West End veteran Roger Wright among several others.
8.06pm: Oh, we're back to Jonathan Ansell. They didn't bother telling us what happened to him last night, but it's just as well we already knew. Except Holden tells us that he was "released from his contract", which simply isn't true - he certainly did play Charles Darnay in A Tale Of Two Cities, he just had an alternate in Antony Hansen. Still, that's too complicated to explain to TV viewers, obviously.