What's going down?
Finn and Sam are both taking a bath after practice, Finn a hot one and Sam a cold one. "How can you stand the cold tub?" Finn asks but Sam says he's used to cold showers dating Quinn. After her babydrama of last year she won't allow him to go any further than making out. Finn empathises as he's been there with Quinn and now with Rachel - "How did we manage to find the only two girls in school who won't put out?" he wonders. When things are getting a little too heavy, Finn just thinks about completely the opposite thing, nearly killing a mailman, and he advises Sam to do the same. Just then Coach Bieste walks in - "Looks like I've found my mailman," he says.
At Glee rehearsal, Puck is back after his time in juvie. Will hopes he's learnt his lesson but Puck
claims that his time in there was a breeze, making him even more of a badass. Will announces to the club their competition for sectionals this year: the all-boys Dalton Academy Warblers and The Hipsters, composed entirely of elderly people. To get them even more psyched for sectionals, he's decided to hold another girls vs boys tournament.
"Relax, I'm here to take care of you," Puck tells Artie as he wheels him down the corridor. Artie is confused, as normally he would be pushing him down the staircase. After being let out of juvie early, he was made to do community service instead and has decided that he is going to be helping Artie. Kurt is still getting grief off Dave Karofsky, as he hurls him into yet another locker and threatens to beat him up. On seeing this, Will calls him into the office and says that he can see the abuse is now starting to get to him, Kurt says that it's simply that the teachers at McKinley are "too quick to let homophobia slide". He also complains that he's no longer challenged here - take doing girls vs boys yet again. In response to this the next day at Glee Will tells them that they're now to perform songs originally sung by the opposite sex - "the more opposite your choice, the more points you get".
Sam and Quinn are making out at hers and when things are again getting too hot and heavy he follows Finn's advice. It works are he imagines Bieste in her underwear carving meat. However things don't go quite to plan, when Quinn asks him to say her name and Bieste's slips out. The next day, Quinn goes to Sue to tell her what happened. She's done all she can to get her rep back up, getting on the Cheerios again, getting straight As and dating the cutest guy in school, "who would rather be humping SheHulk," Sue adds, and doesn't know what more she can do. Sue has a plan, to finally get rid of Bieste and to get Quinn's "Macaulay Culkin stunt double" back in her arms. The plan? Go public with her pain.
Artie wonders why Puck is skiving geometry when he's failing so badly but he's decided to busk
instead. "Cash is king," he tells him. "Watch and learn, young Jedi in a wheelchair," he says as the pair break into a mash-up of "One Love (People Get Ready)". The busking works, as the pair rake in a lot of money from their performance. After, Brittany walks past and Puck notices the way Artie looks at her. He tells him that he wants her back, Puck says it'll be easy as "you only need to be a fraction nice to them" and they'll be yours. Yes, because that isn't sexist at all. Puck suggests a double date with Brittany and Santana at Breadsticks with the money they've got.
Kurt, on the boys' orders, has gone to Dalton Academy to spy on the Warblers. There he meets the devilishly handsome Blaine, played by Darren Criss of A Very Potter Musical fame. Everyone at the school is excited. Why? Because the Warblers are about to throw an impromptu performance. A little bit different to how it is at McKinley, then. Running to the performance, "which kind of shuts the school down," Blaine grabs Kurt's hand, in a tender moment. As the club give their rendition of Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" Kurt watches everyone's enthusiasm for them and it's apparent that he would fit in there better than he does at McKinley.
Mike is telling Tina how picturing Bieste helps the boys to "cool off", or so Sam said. Eager to try out this advice, Tina suggests that the pair find a room. Unfortunately, just as Sam did, she makes the mistake of saying Bieste's name out loud and Mike, just like Quinn, looks equally disturbed. In the corridor Quinn confronts Sam over the issue. He asks to talk about it in private but Quinn, on Sue's advice, starts to argue more. As Bieste walks past and asks whats going on, Quinn says that they're having a "lovers' quarrel", which is all her fault. To make matters worse Mike walks past and tells her to "stay away" from his woman, leaving poor Bieste looking mystified.
